What Coaching Is—and Isn’t—for Church Leaders

By Nicholas DeYoung

Clearing the Fog

“I just need someone to tell me what to do.”

It’s a phrase I’ve heard countless times in conversation with pastors, elders, and nonprofit leaders facing transitions, internal conflicts, or deep spiritual fatigue. Sometimes it’s whispered with desperation. Sometimes it’s spoken through gritted teeth. Sometimes it’s masked behind a confident smile—but the ache is real.

Whether you’re leading a church through succession planning, navigating a new co-vocational role, or carrying the weight of unresolved staff tension, you might be asking: “Do I need a coach? A mentor? A counselor? What even is the difference?”

This post is an invitation to clear the fog around coaching—what it is, what it isn’t, and how it can be a vital tool for church leaders who want to lead with clarity, courage, and sustainability. You’ll learn not only what coaching looks like in my practice at Inkpad Coaching Labs, but also whether it might be the right next step for you or someone in your church.

Why Leaders Need Support Now More Than Ever

The role of the modern church leader has become exponentially more complex. We’re no longer just preachers or shepherds—we’re administrators, crisis managers, social commentators, community developers, HR directors, and spiritual directors all wrapped into one.

Add to that the growing realities of:

Post-pandemic fatigue and congregational reshuffling,
Staff or volunteer burnout,
Denominational shifts,
The rise of bivocational and co-vocational models,
And the quiet, persistent weight of spiritual loneliness.

It’s no wonder more pastors are walking away than stepping up.

But this isn’t new. Even Moses, Israel’s great leader, found himself overwhelmed. In Exodus 18, Jethro—the original leadership consultant—observed Moses burning out and said plainly: “What you are doing is not good… You will surely wear yourself out.”

Jethro didn’t criticize Moses’s calling. He simply reminded him that leadership doesn’t have to be lonely.

Coaching, at its best, offers that same kind of presence: not to take over your role, but to help you reimagine how you fulfill it.

What Coaching Isn’t

To understand the value of coaching, we first need to clear up a few misconceptions. Coaching is often lumped in with therapy, consulting, or mentoring—but while there may be some overlap, each of these serves a distinct purpose.

❌ Coaching Isn’t Therapy

Therapy is focused on healing emotional wounds, resolving trauma, and processing mental health concerns—often rooted in the past. Coaching, by contrast, is future-focused. It’s not about diagnosis or treatment; it’s about helping functional leaders grow, change, and move forward.

Therapy asks: “What happened to you?”

Coaching asks: “What do you want now?”

If you’re dealing with anxiety, depression, or trauma, a licensed therapist is the best next step. Coaching can complement—but not replace—therapy.

❌ Coaching Isn’t Consulting

A consultant is an expert who gives you answers, plans, and systems. Coaching is not about providing a pre-made roadmap. It’s about helping you develop clarity and take ownership of your next step.

Consultants say: “Here’s the solution.”

Coaches ask: “What do you think is possible?”

In church work, we often crave quick fixes. But meaningful transformation usually comes through slow, intentional reflection—and that’s where coaching shines.

❌ Coaching Isn’t Mentoring

Mentors share wisdom from their own experiences. Coaches don’t need to have walked the exact path you’re on—they help you discover your own way. Mentoring is valuable, but coaching goes beyond advice into self-awareness and action.

Mentors say: “Here’s what worked for me.”

Coaches ask: “What would work for you?”

❌ Coaching Isn’t Spiritual Direction

Spiritual direction focuses on helping you discern God’s presence and movement in your life. Coaching may incorporate spiritual language (especially in a faith-based context), but its primary goal is action and growth, not quiet contemplation.

You may benefit from all of the above—many do. But coaching fills a unique gap that others can’t.

What Coaching Is

At its core, coaching is a collaborative, future-focused, client-led relationship that helps you clarify where you’re going and how to get there—with confidence, accountability, and purpose.

It’s a sacred space for asking hard questions, naming hidden fears, and making courageous decisions.

✅ Coaching is a Mirror and a Flashlight

One of my favorite metaphors: Coaching is not a GPS. It won’t tell you where to turn. It’s a mirror to help you see yourself more clearly—and a flashlight to illuminate what’s possible in the path ahead.

The coaching process invites:

Deep reflection
Holy listening
Values-driven action
Growth that sticks

It’s not about being “fixed”—it’s about being free to lead with integrity.

What Makes Church Leadership Coaching Unique

Leading in the church is unlike any other field.

You’re not just running an organization—you’re stewarding a sacred trust. You carry the emotional weight of people’s stories, the spiritual responsibility of teaching truth, and the constant scrutiny of a watching community. You may be expected to cast vision, resolve conflict, offer counseling, perform funerals, preach weekly, manage budgets, and disciple the next generation—all while navigating your own questions of calling, family life, and spiritual vitality.

Church leaders face:

Blurred boundaries between personal and professional life
Constant transitions (staff turnover, generational shifts, cultural change)
Internal conflict between spiritual ideals and organizational realities
Hidden loneliness—especially when you have no one safe to talk to

Coaching in this space isn’t just about performance improvement. It’s about soul sustainability.

Faith-informed coaching offers a space to explore calling, obedience, discernment, and transformation—without judgment, pressure, or performance metrics.

My Coaching Philosophy: Inkpad Coaching Labs

At Inkpad Coaching Labs, I draw from over 20 years of experience in church leadership—serving as Elder, Lead Pastor, and Executive Pastor, while also raising a family and working in child welfare education. I understand the tension of holding sacred space while navigating real-world pressure.

My coaching approach is:

Faith-Informed: Rooted in Scripture and Christian formation, but accessible to leaders from all backgrounds.
Emotionally-Aware: Influenced by Emotionally Healthy Discipleship and systems theory.
Leadership-Focused: Geared toward practical decisions, relational health, and strategic clarity.

I specialize in coaching around:

Pastoral Transitions and Succession – Navigating leadership handoffs with honor and intentionality.
Burnout Recovery and Prevention – Helping leaders rediscover joy, rest, and purpose.
Co-Vocational Leadership Support – Supporting pastors who work both inside and outside the church.
Organizational Health and Team Dynamics – Coaching elders, staff, or leadership teams through growth and change.

A typical coaching session lasts 60 minutes and includes check-ins, reflective questions, feedback, and action steps. It’s always confidential, always client-led, and always focused on your goals—not mine.

Who Church Coaching Is For

Coaching isn’t just for “problem leaders.” It’s for growth-minded leaders.

Here’s who can benefit from coaching:

Pastors in succession planning or retirement discernment
Church planters navigating startup chaos
Leaders in conflict or relational breakdown
Staff facing role confusion or burnout
Elders needing outside clarity in decision-making
Bi-vocational leaders struggling to balance work and ministry
Ministry couples desiring aligned vision and communication

You don’t need to be in crisis to need coaching. You just need to be hungry for clarity, growth, and health.

FAQs and Misconceptions

“Isn’t coaching just therapy in disguise?”

Nope. Coaching is not diagnostic or therapeutic. It’s action-oriented and growth-focused, designed for emotionally stable, high-capacity leaders seeking clarity and support.

“Is coaching only for failing leaders?”

Absolutely not. The best leaders have coaches. Think of it like a personal trainer—not because you’re weak, but because you want to grow.

“Can’t I just talk to a friend or mentor?”

Yes—and you should. But coaches offer something different: trained presence, structured space, and accountability without attachment to outcomes.

“What if I don’t have time?”

If you don’t have time to reflect, process, and grow—you might be headed for burnout. Coaching is an investment in longevity, not an interruption to productivity.

“Do I have to be a Christian to work with you?”

No. While my coaching is shaped by Christian values, I welcome anyone who wants honest, respectful, thoughtful partnership on their leadership journey.

How to Know If You’re Ready for Coaching

You might be ready for coaching if:

You’re in a season of change (new role, church transition, burnout recovery)
You’re overwhelmed with options and need clarity
You’re facing a tough decision and want someone to walk with you
You feel isolated in leadership and want confidential support
You’re ready to grow, even if you’re not sure how

Here are a few reflection questions:

What’s one leadership challenge you haven’t named out loud?
If nothing changes in 6 months, what’s at stake?
What would it feel like to have a trusted coach in your corner?

Final Encouragement: You Don’t Have to Lead Alone

Ministry can be isolating—but it doesn’t have to be. You weren’t meant to carry this calling alone. You were created for community, for co-laborers, for Jethros and Barnabases and Spirit-filled encouragers who can come alongside you in the hard places.

Coaching is not about fixing you. It’s about freeing you—to lead from a place of health, not hustle. Clarity, not chaos. Calling, not compulsion.

If you’re curious, reach out. Let’s talk. No pressure. Just an open door.

“Let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus…” (Hebrews 12:1–2)

You don’t have to figure it all out alone. You just have to take the next step.